“After two years of waiting, finally the Tour was going to make it to Tignes this day. O! But this long descent before the equally long Tignes climb could not be underestimated. If the riders did not take proper care of themselves on the way down, surely the freezing conditions would sap their strength and health for the long final ascent. Thus it was time for the second annual Unofficial Rain Jacket World Championships.”
Category Archives: Review
2021 TDF Stage 8: Young Beowulf Restabilizes His Rule
Oyonnax—La Grand-Bornand, 150km In absolute shambles and disarray, the Tour crawled on its hands-and-knees into the first Alpine Stage, the first real mountain stage of this Tour de France. The list of casualties, the body count, and the number of only semi-recovering wounded warriors were are all tremendously high after a week of racing atContinue reading “2021 TDF Stage 8: Young Beowulf Restabilizes His Rule”
2021 TDF Stage 7: Uncharted Territory
“So, how did the UAE team fair on their first real day of ever trying to control the Tour de France for their leader of leaders Tadej Pogacar? In my opinion, I must say they had the worst control of the day I have ever seen from the leading GC team. But in their defense: They were dealt one of the most unconventional scripts ever—because it was written by the Mighty Aces who tear up all scripts and convention.”
2021 TDF Stage 6: Record Watch
“It is clear to all: we are witnessing legendary events. Mark Cavendish the Manx Missile has just won his 32nd Tour de France stage. The nostalgia for the HTC days of a bygone era have not yet and will not ever dissolve for the remainder of this Tour—especially not here where Cav took his first Tour stage 13 years ago. But with this win, sound the alarms, be on your guard. For the entire next fortnight with the intensity of a wartime coast guard, we are now on watch. Not for enemy fleets, submarines, or armadas of fighter jets and bombers; no, the entirety of the cycling world is now on Record Watch.”
2021 TDF Stage 4: Eucatastrophe at the Tour de France
“Our hopes were dashed. And yet, within 10 seconds, before the brutal realism of cycling—which functions as a microcosm of human reality—painted upon us the grayest of bleak gray worldviews imaginable…a kaleidoscope of vibrant color and hope jarringly shattered that drab premature assumption of “reality” better than any Hollywood movie script ever could! My beloved J.R.R. Tolkien would call this a moment of eucatastrophe.”
2021 TDF Stage 3: Battle Scars
“Ah! Ah! It is so cruel to see how brutal this sport can be. A whole season built around this race, and within an instant it ends in complete sorrow. Yes, yes, I think this would be the appropriate time to utter the cliché for the one and only time this Tour: Today was not a day you could win the Tour, but you sure could lose it.”
2021 TDF Stage 2: The Renaissance Madman on the Mur-de-Bretagne
“Yes, yes, with all the Bonus Seconds available on both the passages of this Mur-de-Bretagne, the nudge theory went off with out a hitch. And who was bold enough to kick things off from long range? Why, of course, the Madman who always loves to kick things off from long range.”
2021 TDF Stage 1: The Musketeer in Yellow Once More
“Julian Alaphilippe the Musketeer, one of the top showmen of the sport among this great generation of audacious and theatric racers, was on the attack at the Tour de France in a quest for the Yellow Jersey once more. For much of the season the Mighty Aces have bested him in finishes such as these, but here today at the greatest race in all the world, on home soil, in the World Champion’s Jersey, even the Mighty Aces hadn’t a prayer to stop the Mighty Musketeer Julian Alaphilippe.”
2021 Suisse, Papal Visits, and Other Matters
And thus my procrastinating has paid off, because I now get to conclude with musings on the Grenadier and out-rider of chainsaws Egan Bernal’s Wednesday day-out wearing fine street clothes.
2021 CDD: It’s All About the Weekend
Often it seems to be the case that the Dauphine needs some relative time to warm up before it gets into full swing. This is an unfair and inaccurate observation. Ah! But when the Dauphine begins, all of us are still just only beginning to come down from our high from following the Giro d’Italia that always goes out with a massive bang in the final week. This year, the Dauphine was actually a week early and the opening stage clashed with the Giro’s final day TT in Milan. Thus Lotto’s Brent Van Moer’s solo-break stage win on the opening day was not as exciting to us as it should have been—I was arduously editing my final stage report of the Giro as I watched. Nor was Bora’s Lukas Postlberger’s similar solo-break stage win the next day for I could not endure another cycling race. In both cases they just barely held off the peloton with Bahrain’s Sonny Colbrelli winning the sprint for second. Luckily, Colbrelli could not be denied on Stage 3, where he took victory. But I barely watched much of that Colbrelli stage until the very finish, too busy was I trying to get my life back in order after a three-week adventure in Italy. I was too busy to even watch any of the Stage 4 Time Trial that was surprisingly won by Alexey Lutsenko (Astana-Premier Tech). It was not until the very last kilometer of Stage 5 that the Dauphine started to suck me in and grab my attention. Until that point I had only been looking to see who was on good form for the looming Tour de France…the top answer was of course: Sonny Colbrelli for any sort of lumpy stage.
Cycling Odysseys 