Tag Archives: Julian Alaphilippe

2021 TDF Stage 10: Nostalgia and Fence Sitting

“After his second stage win this Tour, I had declared that we were all back on Record Watch. Even more so today, the Cannibal Eddy Merckx’s record of 34 Tour stages is no longer at all safe. So let us have a conversation that was probably taking place a decade ago in 2011, finally now is the appropriate time to rehash it.”

2021 LBL: Intangibles Pay Out

“When betting, I specifically enjoy considering the intangibles…The take Brett Favre and the Packers on Monday night because his dad passed away last Tuesday or bet on any team who has a star player who just had his first newborn child because they’re now playing for more than themselves bet…When I win these bets based on these psychological hunches and tells that are neither scientific nor measured by the Vegas line makers, I believe I have an inside track, betting 5.0, Machiavellian craft, all because I kn-ewww it.” –Matthew McConaughey

2021 Fleche: The Strongest Puncheur vs the Man Who Knows the “Trick” (Written)

“Some say it is of some intrigue to have such a race end with such a pure test of strength and power. To this I say: for a Wednesday Classic, perhaps this is reasonable. Should one work all day and not have time to watch at leisure for an hour or two, surely all can find 3 minutes in their day to squeeze in watching the Final Kilometer of this La Fleche Wallonne. But is this climb a pure test of who is the best puncheur in the world?”

2021 RVV: The New Alpha

“It was there that Mathieu Van Der Poel put in attack and the only one who could match the ferocity was Elegant-Quickstep’s Champion of Denmark Casper Asgreen, the E3 winner—the Flanders dress rehearsal nine days ago.”

Eulogy for the Supertuck

“In the decades to come, the new fans of cycling studying up on their cycling history and lore will come across articles and clips of Chris Froome’s 2016 Peyresourde descent…and it will seem as foreign and ancient as the cyclists with no helmets, the cyclists smoking or drinking midrace, and the cyclists with the spare tire slung across their chest. “

2021 MSR: Yet Another Recipe for a Mouthwatering Sanremo Finale (Written)

“At first, I liken it is to a massive 30-gallon cauldron filled to the brim with water needing to be brought to a boil on a regular kitchen stove that can support the cauldron’s weight. But this analogy is appallingly poor: for when the cauldron is finally brought to a boil, all one shall have is 30 gallons of boiling water. Not good enough, not good enough indeed. If we are to metaphorize the Milan-Sanremo’s slow burn, its finish must be compared to something far more extravagant than plain boiling water.”

2021 T-A: The Greatest Edition of Neptune’s Race (WRITTEN)

‘And all the race previews were hyping up the race well…except for one….“Well, this irks me,” King Neptune said. “What is this Cycling Odysseys podcast? Who is this Patrick Santino ant? A podcast named for that horrid Odysseus?”‘

Strade Bianche 2021: A Dream Final Selection (WRITTEN)

“And this is the Dream selection that forms the title of this piece. As I said, the chasers kept them close, but did any viewer in the world think anyone was gonna catch onto this group of All-Stars? No offense to the chasers, but did anyone want them to? Or can we all just admit a fantasy was coming true”

The Showmen Light Up the Opening Weekend…of Reduced Bunch Sprints? (Written)

“On this Opening Weekend in Belgium two of cycling’s superstars dictated how the race would play out…and in a complete power move: neither even factored in winning into their calculations.”